Days Of Our Lives

2006-12-27T15:57:00.000+08:00

At last christmas is over....

pizza hut was a havoc on that day.it is more worse than the sembawang recycle centre.everybody seems to rush to do their things i have to stand for 4 damn bloody exhausting hours to do pizza...brr.... and at the end of the day,guess what?i actually have done a total of nearly 1000 pizza on that day...woohoho... can't really imagine doing 1000 pizza on that day but trust me u'll never want to work at that tight place there.but at least i really enjoy mysef there.after the operation hours,linda treat us to some foods and drinks and on top of all wilson,who really make my ass laugh,saying all the odd things.imagine a chinese speaking in malay.haha.i still can't forget what he say with his full expression...

another upcoming event,hari raya and new year,expect to be busier than christmas.dunno why they prefer to eat pizza's at home.i prefer going to other restaurant to have my meal..hahaha... anyway to all selamat hari raya,happy new year and merry christmas and everything...hahha

to you,my special one,you know who you are,hope 2007 will bring you more happiness and shine to your life.evrything seems to be an act on stage right now....

peace from me,yoshi nakamura a.k.a fresto.inc....

2006-12-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

finally term test is over.5 hellish paper to sit for and out of the 5 i think i only did well for 2 papers.don't know why i seems to lost concentration on my studies.like bloddy hell...
anyway just wait for the results to determine what i should do next...

holiday is here for 2 weeks.hmmm.thank god i finally finish paying the $200 fine.stupid government.dunno how to make the law.hahaha.and also thank god that i'm finally cured from the accident last 3 weeks.so scary to escape a major accident.luckily the guy didn't report to the police and luckily he didn't notice that i had hit his bumper side car. but i'm so sorry bob,for causing ur footrest and ur body to damage.hahaha.klu aku bei motor nnt aku kasi kau calar body aku..haha

anyway to suhail,happy 18th birthday.habis..budak tu dah legal.confirm gi clubbing nye.hahaha.nnt pass motor,deal race pat och ngan aku k...hahaha....

can't wait for nxt month to go shopping..woohohoho...its been a LONG LONG time since i went shopping.so nxt month gonna satisfied myself and buy whatever i want...hohoho...
shopping at town?hmm...nope gonna shopping at VIVO CITY..hahaha..macam bnyk jer duit eh...haha..also can't wait to watch movie there... dunno what's the fuss people saying that watching movie at vivo is very nice...gonna see the difference...

ok thats all... sayonara yoshi nakamura...

I just wanted to stay with you.I just wanted to feel your breath of grace.I didn't know what to do.I couldn't say anything.When consciousness returned,everything had been washed away by the tide of time, even you.Wish to be given a second chance to prove the sincerity all along,but...

2006-11-28T12:37:00.000+08:00

Number of days had gone but my mind is still feeling lost.I've been sitting down,trying to find where the mistake lies and i know i'm in the wrong.How am i suppose to tell you the reason for my action.I know nothing right now can change a thing,nothing can change your mind and your heart.But at least by explaining the facts,maybe and just mabye it can make you understand the situation.

"The last thing i want is for someone to talk about is him" which refers to azri.Why do i mention about him all of a sudden?Coz the day before that i msg you and you didn't reply to my msg.And when i msg you about him you straight away reply back.You trying to get what i mean here?I really don't know what's in your mind and i don't know what's in your heart.I don't know what secrets you've been keeping away from me.I don' teally mind if you don't wanna share things with me coz i know you still didn't trust me that well.Its not that i want to be a third party or a busybody but i'm just trying to help you all that i can.It doesn' matter if i have to sacrifice for a person like you coz i know its worth it.I'm really really shocked by your last msg and it really maes me speechless for days.Its not that i want you to reply to all my msges.Its not what you think.The reason why i pleaded you to reply to my msg is beacause i'm afraid that you will break the friendship in silence.Yeah i know you're not my gf and i don't know whether you regard me as a friend or not.But now everything is done and you ask me to stick to where i stand from the beginning??Sigh...

To stand from the beggining,which means i have to be what i am 6 months back,which is half a year.How am i suppose to pick myself up just like that.How am i suppose to be what i am before 23rd may,the day i know you.How am i suppose to forget everything and act like as if these 6 months are just a stage of an act?
6 months of memories to be forgotten just like that?6 months...Let me tell you what this 6 months means...

I've been seeing you at itas frequently but everytime i saw you,you seems to be down or moody.Your expression caught my attention and out of curiosity,i ask my friend about you.It was really unexpected that you turn out to be my friend's sister schoolmate.What a small world.Without any further,i ask permission from the sister to get your number.I still remember nadirah saying "if you do anything to her,you watch out".Hahaha.Then after 2 days istart msging you and i get to know you as time goes by.Every now and then i start visiting your blog and it really touch me when you mention that sometimes out of nowhere you'll cry in the middle of the night.It kinda reminds me of my pst and from there,i determine to help you to overcome these obstacles of lifes.Util the day i found out that you are with azri,i realise that i was too late.But what i want is to befriend with you,so i kinda ignore that matter.As i get to know you,i realise tou are different from other girls that i've known.You're the first girl to msg me in english and i've to admit that i really hate english to the core.But to keep up with you,i just try to msg you in english,knowing my english is that sucks.My freinds startedd to question me of the change of my style of msging and i told them its all because of you.Till now i still msg eveyone in english.HAHAHA.And also you always have these phrase "sorry for the late reply". I will always smile whenever i read it.I don't know why.Hahahaha...

You always complain bout your lifein your blog and when i try to imagine it,it really tickles me.Haha.To see a petite small little girl feeling lost in the middle of the dessert.Lol.Hahah.Sorry..

The day that i bought the blue rose from you,i'm really really out of my mind coz i don't know to whom am i suppose to give it to.I ask you whether you will accept it if i gave it to you and you said you don't mind it but it feels awkward.I tried to keep the rose alive but after a few days,it died.I don't know why,maybe because my little brother put it inside the freezer.Lol.Sorry.So i promise to "give" it back to you one day..

The day that you told me about the incident between you and azri till late morning,it really reall moved me to see you in that state and i really really cannot accept the fact that azri did it to you.I don't know why i feel so tensed up all of a sudden.I really don' know how to console you at that moment but the story changes when you ask me about my family.You are one of a few people and the first person to know about my past coz i don't really like to share it with others as it will only bring gloominess and hatred to myself.Then you start to share with me your family background and bla bla bla.At the end of the day,i realise that both of us are in the same boat.As time goes by,i tried to win your heart.Even though i know your heart is for someone else but i still say that you are the one and i shouldn't lose hope.

For your birthday,i bought a pendant for you.Thought to include a musical box in it but i have not much time to search for it.But a pity that i couldn't treat you to dinner.Yes,i expect you to be overjoyed or overwhelmed with the present,but you sound really moody that day.I really really dissapoint me for a moment.

He above has His own way in handling things.He's been making my confidence strong all this while and unexpectedly,He changes the whole story just like that.It was really unexpected that this matter would end up a friendship.

All the efforts are wasted.But i don't mind it coz of a girk name Hafizah had teach me how to smile back and show me the other side of the world.She shows me there is someone out there experiencing the life that i had in the past.She's the first girl to ask me to quit smoking,she's the first girl to say my english is not that bad,she shows me that not all girls out there are the same,she's the first person to know my dark side,she's the first girl to give advices to me.So many this and that that its really impossible for me to forgether.Its really really impossible.

So now how am i suppose to pick myself back fro mthe start?Maybe its my own mistake that i forgot my roots,
But what i want really is to have friend like you and i really don't want to break this friendship.Maybe to you its just a small matter but to me, it had an impact in my life.And i'm so stupid enough to cry over this matter.I don't know why.Idon't know whether what you said are just words out of frustration or you really really meant it.Maybe i should just give you space and accept reality.But i just want you to know that if at times if you need a friend,just remember that your friend here is willing to help you out and willing to sacrifice for you.That's a promise from a guy to a girl...

Deep inside my heart,i'm hoping that i would not shed tears for you.But it can't be stop with the heart and mind feeling lost in the sea of dreams.If that is what the called love then its love.If not then its just an infatuation of a lost,sorrow man.

Hafziah Bte Mohamed Salikimen(sorry if i spelled it wrongly),the name that will always be stick to my heart and memories...Forever...

I'm really really hoping to see you wearing the pendant one day...Just maybe it would come true...Or just maybe it turn out to be just another dream in my life...

2006-11-13T15:13:00.000+08:00

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Desert Rose, why do you live alone?
If you are sad, I'll make you leave this life.
Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand.

The winds of time, you knock me to the ground.
I'm dying of thirst, I wanna run away.
Don't know how to set me free to live.
My mind cries out feeling pain.

I've been roaming to find myself.
How long have I been feeling endless hurt.
Falling down, rain flows into my heart.
In the pain, I'm waiting for you.

Can't go back, no place to go back to.
Life is lost, flowers fall.
If it's a dream, now wake me up.
If it's for real, just kill me.

I'm making the wall inside my heart.
I don't wanna let my emotions get out.
It scares me to look at the world.
Don't wanna find myself lost in your eyes.

I tried to drown my past in grey.
I never wanna feel more pain.
Run away from you without saying any words.
What I don't wanna lose is love.

Through my eyes time goes by like tears.
My emotions losing the colour of life.
Kill my heart, release all my pain.
I'm shouting out loud. Insanity takes hold of me.

Turning away from the wall I can see nothing.
The scream deep inside, reflecting another person in my heart.
All existence you see before you must be wiped out.
Dream, reality, memories, and yourself.

I begin to lose control of myself.
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind.
Nobody can stop my turning to madness.
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart.

Why do you wanna raise these walls?
I don't know the meaning of hatred.
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies.
I only want to hold your love.

Stab the dolls of hate.
Wash yourself with their blood.
Drive into the raging current of time.
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly. "The earth."
Shout and start creating confusion, shed your blood for pleasure.
And what? For love? What am I supposed to do?

I believe in the madness called "now".
Past and future prison my heart.
Time is blind, but I wanna trace my love.
On the walls of time over pain in my heart.

Art of life. Insane blade stabbing dreams.
Try to break all truth now.
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain.
Cannot start to live, cannot end my life,keep on crying.

Close my eyes, time breathes, I hear.
All love and sadness melt in my heart.
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face.
I wanna feel me living outside my walls.

You can't draw a picture of yesterday so you're painting your heart with your blood.
You can't say no, only turning the wheel of time with a rope around your neck.
You build a wall of morality and take a breath from between the bricks.
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them.
You're trying to commit suicide.
You're satisfied with your prologue, now you're painting your first chapter black.
You are putting the scraps of your life together and trying to make an asylum for yourself. You're hitting a hell at the edge of the stage and you are trying to kill me.

I believe in the madness called "now".
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart.
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself.
Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for.

Art Of Life.I try and stop myself but my heart goes to destroy the truth.
Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life.
Do I try to live? Do I try to love? In my dream...

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart.
I just wanna let my emotions get out.
Nobody can stop, I'm running to freedom, no matter how you try to hold me in your world.

Like a doll carried by the wall of time.
I sacrificed the present moment for the future.
I was in the chains of memory half blinded.
Losing my heart walking in the sea of dreams.

Close my eyes, rose breathes, I can hear.
All love and sadness melt in my heart.
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face.
I wanna feel me living my life, outside my mind.

Dreams can make me mad.
I can't leave my dream, I can't stop myself .
Don't know what I am.
What lies are truth? What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "now".
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart.
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself.
Still, I haven't found what I'm looking for.

Art Of Life.
I try and stop myself but my heart goes to destroy the truth.
Tell me why, I want the meaning of my life.
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?

Art of life.
An eternal bleeding heart, you never wanna breathe your last.
Wanna live, can't let my heart kill myself.
Still I'm feeling for,A rose is breathing love, in my life...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I believed if time passes, everything turns into beauty. If the rain stops, tears clean the scars of memory away. Everything starts wearing fresh colors. Every sound begins playing a heartful melody. Jealousy embellishes a page of epic. Desire is embraced in a dream But my mind is still in chaos and..

2006-10-30T15:36:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dYUVN0DaKxE&mode=related&search=

check this out... Art Of Life by X-Japan,
Considered as one of the best rock songs ever in the history of rock!!!!

2006-10-30T15:01:00.000+08:00

So lets see...Today is monday,the 30th of october.The last day for me in Bedok pizza hut.For 2 months i've been working there,but within these 2 months,there seems to be a bonding between that place,the people and me.Even though its hard for me to leave but sooner or later i'll have to leave the place.(now i'm not quiting from the job but just transfer to another outlet).2 months of memoriable memories which will always be remembered.

A Big thanks to botak,dayat,jason,auntie soh,zai,imah,atiqa,zali,ramdan,ghafur,iskandar,upu,siew ling,jun,aisha,faisal,firdaus,chun chun(so cute the name i gave to them.,hahaha),chan chan,ren ren,naseer,yaseer,fadzil ganja,bob,fadli,sari,ampai,brother y,henry,wan,sam,bai rokok,jack spider and also those whom i forgot to mention here.As you see,there's a long list of names and of course we are like one huge family,especially during fasting month of ramadhan.you can feel the atmosphere...

like a ship running smoothly into the sea,wish u will be smooth sailing through the world full of obstacles that can't be seen..... Feeling the rose of thorn from the heart....

2006-10-27T16:51:00.000+08:00

Hello Welcome Back....

Its been ages since i've updated my blog.And now its back again with tagboard back in it again.
So what happen fot the past 2 months or so?Possibly i cant write everything that happen right?
But during this 2 months many many incidents and events,both happy and sad had occured but the most happiest thing that happens to me is when i purchase this thing for someone's birthday..SOO CUTE!!!!
Hahha...Ok2,Next week i'll be transferring to tampines mart pizza hut(previous was Bedok) and join my supervisor,Adha...

To all my homies,see u in school.
To syafiq,shirgin,shireen,ifa,happy mugging for "0"
To my riders form bedok,happy working at ubi pizza hut.
To bedok pizza hut,happy training at siglap and goodbye to u all
To Tampines mart pizza hut,here i come...

2006-08-23T11:31:00.000+08:00

Okay yesterday i followed ashburn and syafiq to record their songs at newton there.But before that,i went to POSB with burn to withdraw money.And while we're waiting suddenly this aunite came to me and said,got ghost at your house you know.got someone die and follow you.....
I was like WHAT THE HELL???? but then i know that there's a spirit inside my house but i dun care coz me and the spirit is friends already for staying together for 1 year... hahahahha...

okay we went to newton and bla bla bla AND WAH!!! guees what??? i saw rahimah rahim,the veteran singer in person...wahh.... and after that she treat me and my friends a WAFFLE WITH ICE CREAM!!!hahaha its been a long time since i have that...

and after going to newton,we study at st hilda at 12.. and bla bla bla thats the ende of story...hahahaha....

2006-08-19T07:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday spent 1 whole day till late afternoon at ashburn's place.... just slacking around and guess what?? For just yesterday i smoke a total of 27 sticks in 24 hours.... hahahha.... well hafizah,you rea;; have to understand the situation here... free flow of cigerattes..hahaha so can't help it.

And i promise to post another recent outbreak right after my exam...so guys,just stay put and wait for them okay??? hahaha....

2006-08-17T17:56:00.000+08:00

ok,today i help my frens to finish up their project. and while we're doing this,i don't know who the hell is she,but she keep staring at us. this girl if i'm not wrong we always saw at techno(a coffee shop near temasek poly.) And i don't know,why she keep looking at us. i ask my fren whether he notice, and he say that the girl was actually looking at me. WTF!!!! aiyo...paisey lagik...

but then i wonder,y when a person likes me i turn out not to have feelings for her? is it nature of a man or what?start to think back and reflect again aliff....

2006-08-17T17:45:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was really fun. imagine sitting at a bench from 2.30 to 8 or 9 i guess just to finish up my frens **** up project... hahaha.... Am i stupid to help them or what? but then i really enjoy it. and on top of all i got a praise from someone!!!! hahaha... shahila say that i'm good and i'm the best... hahaha crazy fellow.

And after finish doing the project,i went to ashburn's house to eat. And guess what,i have this errr hawaiian pizza and err mushroom with beef pizza for free!!!! its been a while since i've eaten the pizza from pizza hut...

Exam is in 1 weeks time.Maybe i'm gonna MIA from everything and start to be serious.This year is so slack that i went to all lectures for an average of 2-3 for this semester.And i promise to get myself above 3 for GPA like last semester... yeah aliff, you can do it,don't worry... hahaha...

2006-08-16T15:05:00.000+08:00

What is love? i mean what is real love? till now i don't have the answer to thatqueston. when you are in love with somebody,is it really love or just an infatuation?(anyway thanks hafizah for teaching me this word.haha) and when you felt it's just an infatuation, does it turn out to be love? nowadays i can hear many people saying i love him/her,or she/he is in love with me. even a small kid who is 13 years old says that. if you don't believe me try going to some 13-15 year old kid and some of them will say something like "you have broken my heart.I've really love in love with you yet you just left me in the dark corner" and bla bla bla.Bluerk+Urgh!!!!even at a yound age they know the meaning of love. whenever is see this kind of things,i was like wtf? umur baru setahun jagung dah pandai ni semue. but really, to thunk back,is it really love that they're experiencing or is it just their mind and feelings that says so. and what i notice this kind of things always happen to the girls. and i hate to say this but what i see in most girls nowadays are really like urghh!!!! they're so bitchy,minah, and bla bla bla. its really hard to see a feminine girls nowadays. even a girl wearing tudung cannot be trusted. can you believe this,my friend told me that they were chilling at the highest level of a multi-storey carpark.They felt so mendak and decided to explore the carpark.then they saw two girls wearing tudung sitting at a corner KISSING EACH OTHER!!!! AND MORE WORST,ONE OF THE GIRL TURN OUT TO BE MY FRIEND'S COUSIN.HAHAHAHA. I LAUGH UPON HEARING THIS.

HAHA okay,back to the topic again.err what is it again? ah, about love.at a yound age,they started to ay i love u u love me and bla bla bla.Does it make sense? i mean at a young is it possible for them to fall in love.

And here is also another thing that really make me wonder. just lets say this girl,she is a dream girl for any man.have all the looks characteristic and bla bla bla. when she like this guy,this guy accept her as a friend but not more than that. and it also happen to a guy who is bla bla bla and when he likes this girl,the girl don't want him.why is it so? i really don't know. can someone please explain to me. its like hey this girl is really suitable for you and can be your life partner(Insya-allah) but you just let her go away.wtf man? maybe the expectation of teenagers nowadays really differ from the one in the past.

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Based On A True Story:

ok, first and foremost this story is not about other people. actually i wanna write about her story but i think its not good for her.So i decided to tell you my story.and this is not my love story(coz i don't want to share with you all.its kinda personal you see.hahaha) and instead i share with you my experience this year in search for a suitable partner but i will not disclose their name to avoid misunderstanding.and also i'm not a playboy okay,i repeat i'm not a playboy.you'll understand after reading this blog.

here it goes
1)17th may-thats the end of the 3 years of waiting that went down to drain.if i were to tell you the story,hmmm.Forget it.but this girl,aiyo,really lah forget about her.really aches my heart when i think about it. just know these word-3 years,3 YEARS!!!!
2)23rd may-get to know this girl till now.i tell you honestly,this girl is really my dream girl.she's really feminine,ladylike,beautiful,good characteristic and personality and so cute.those guy who reject her i tell you must be the most stupidest guy ever.but then after knowing her, i decided to remain friends with her.not because she has a bad attitude but because we live in a two different world you see.an angel can never be with the devil right?a beauty can never be with the beast right?so yah,we're still friends till now. but then i don't know whether i make the right choice or not. tell me am i stupid or what?hmmm
3)30th june-this girl,hmmm,really makes my heart ache.okay,i've been wanting to know this girl for about 6-7 months snd finally got her number.bla bla bla,she said she's more than happy to be friends but in the end when i msg her,she didn't reply a single thing until now. urghh,when i see her in school she just smile and i didn't smile back at her. its really,i wanna choke her to death man.
4)17th july-hahahah.this is the most funniest out of all. this girl turn out to be a perfect girl but then she turn out to be a lesbian.hahahah.instead of knowing her ,i gave her and her girlfriend one hell of a lecture through sms.hahaha.and that ends everything.hahaha

so out of the 4,only 1 that i'm still contacting with and we help one and another.so you can see,if you think that guys out there are making fun of girl's heart then you are totally wrong.Wait! let me rephrase it again.About 45% of the guys out there are playing with girls heart,32% still looking for serious relationship,20% having a relationship and the other 3% are playing with other guys heart. you know what i mean right? hahaha. so what do you think? which percentage do i belong to?(obviously i don't belong to the 3% of course.hahah)well its up to you to decide and think of me,but 1 thing that i know,i'm still finding for the right one to appear.

I'm making the wall inside my heart. I don't wanna let my emotions get out. It scares me to look at the world. Don't wanna find myself lost in your eyes. I tried to drown my past in grey. I never wanna feel more pain. Run away from you without saying any words. What I don't wanna lose is love.
Through my eyes time goes by like tears. My emotions losing the colour of life. Kill my heart, release all my pain, I'm shouting out loud. Insanity takes hold of me...
I believe in the madness called "now". Past and future prison my heart. Time is blind, but I wanna trace my love, on the walls of time over pain in my heart. Art of life. Insane blade stabbing dreams. Try to break all truth now. But I can't heal this broken heart in pain. Cannot start to live, cannot end my life,keep on crying.
Close my eyes, time breathes, I hear. All love and sadness melt in my heart.
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face. I wanna feel me living outside my walls.

2006-08-11T10:18:00.000+08:00

Try to look at the example below:
A samurai - Live by the sword, Die by the sword
Tupac - Live by the gun, Die by the gun
Big Pun - Live by obesity, Die by obesity
Hitler - Live by political, Die by political
FRESTO.INC - Live by priciples, Die by principles..... Alleeesssss!!! Maybe,who knows right?

So let me ask you, are you fear of death. I mean are READY to DIE and FACE judgement in the AFTERLIFE?(Think carefully because this is no laughing matter and do take note the words in capital letters. Why? Just take notelah okay. You'll understand after you finish reading this entire post.) Lets just say that when you finish reading this blog, you try to get yourself some fresh air, so you decided to take a stroll at the park near your house. While you are walking acroos the road, a bus hit you, followed by a lorry, then a motorcycle then a bicycle and you die on the spot!!! To avoid this from happening, DO NOT take a stroll at the park after reading this blog. HAHAA!!!) So you see death is unpredictable and can just befall you at any point of time. The question is are you willing to be apart from your love ones? Are you ready to leave everythong behind and face your Creator? ARE you?

Life itself is really unpredictable. We may never know what the future holds, orknow what's goind to happen tommorrow, or maybe 5 hours later. But we can imagine what's going to happen. Life itself is so fragile with many obstacle ready to be face throughout our whole life. In fact, we have to face obstacles everyday in our life, for example we have to wake up early and go to school, finish up our assignments, sit for examination and so on.Get the idea of it? And when you failed to overcome these obstacles you startd to feel weak and wann give up. Then you will broke down and tears started to roll down your cheeks. Then you will have this thinking like why am i wasting my time here, what is my purpose in this world, when am i going to die nad you will have the thought of ending your life and bla bla bla. Has this ever happen to you? I bet it had happened once in your entire life right?(For those of you who never felt this way before it means that you are a SPOILT BRAT BASTARD CHILD!!! TRY AND GO TO THE STREET LATE AT NIGHT AND SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE HAD T OSTRUGGLE TO LIVE BY LIFE AND DEATH. HERE THEY'RE TRYING TO FIND A MOUTHFULL OF RICE AND THERE YOU ARE ENJOYING YOURSELF FROM YOUR FATHER'S WEALTH!) Ehem, sorry about that. Okay, so these thing really happen to me almost everyday in the past but no longer now(thank god i listen to stuff like bonethugs, tupac and eminem.) To be honest with you, throughout living in this world for 18 years, i have never fear of death. Never. It isn't such a big deal to me you see. Everybody is going to die one day. If it's time for you to leave,then you just have to go right? Nobody is going to cry on my coffin when i die. So if somebody got a problem with and whack me to death, just be it........

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Recently a person,(an ustaz to be specific), really change the entire meaning of death to me. He said something like this "Never fear death unless you have secure yourself a place in heaven". Never fear death unless you have secure yourself a place in heaven. How true is that. Then he start to explain what he means. Then he say "memanglah betul semua orang akan mati bila tiba masanya, tapi tahu tak diri kita ni pergi syurga ke neraka? Dah banyak ke pahala kite ni?"
Then he try to explain to me how is it like living in hell(Don't bother to find out because if you know whow the real hell and i mean REAL HELL works, i swear you will have bad dreams about living in hell for your entire life.) The scene is so unimaginable but i manage to get a picture of it. While he's describing, he would pause for a while and throw a smile(somehow it seems like a sneer to me.) Somehow the things he said is actually true and it really match with the islamic version of hell that i've read before. Then he continue his explanation about the Q/A inside the grave and also the punishment that we're going to face on our wrong doings on earth. You will not do the talking when being questioned but your organs will. For example the lips can lie but then the heart will feel gulty.Get it? So you really cannot run from the wrong doings that you have commit. I think back again all the things he said and whatever he say is actually true. Every single word. And that really change my mindset. And from that day onwards i start to fear death.If you have a chance to hear from the ustaz how the angel will pull soul out from your body, you will be freak out!!
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So if you remember, i've asked you whether you fear of death or not in the eraly part. Well if before reading this blog ou have a no as an answer,what is your answer now after reading it? If the answer is still no, then prepare for the worse nightmare that awaits you in the afterlife (",)...... Lets end it on a happy quote and hope everything turns out well.
"Just smile and be happy always. Who knows if tommorrow never comes." Peace....

Till the roof comes off,
till the lights go out
Till my legs give out,
can’t shut my mouth.
Till the smoke clears out
and my high burns out
I’ma rip this shit
till my bone collapse.

2006-08-10T11:02:00.000+08:00

So this is my very first post entry and what I'm gonna cover this week is called "Sexagers".

As you all know,the number of underage pregnant girls(aging from 14 to 16 years old to be more specific)has shot up since the last three years. And most percentage of girls pregnant are actually from our own malay girls!!! Now i'm not saying that our malay girls are bad ok? But compared to other races, we cover the large number of underage pregnancy in Singapore and Malaysia too!!! As malays, the society always see us as a race with high discipline and principles in life and also having good manners. But now, it has change. Society look our youth as strayed youth with no future at all. Why is this so? What is actually happening around us? As a person who always chill at coffee shop late at night(around 12-4 am), there are many things which i've witness and experienced.Now, most people will say that chilling at the coffee shop late at night is a waste of time and most of them doing this are people who are dropout or even those who doesn't have vision for their vision. But to me, a person staying at home and wasting their time sleeping is actually more dumber compared to person who chill at coffee shop. My friends and I not only talk about school and leisure stuff but also things that happened inside Singapore and outside. Maybe if you have a chance to chill with us, you'll know whether i'm stating the fact or at least get my point of view.

Before im going off-key,lets talk back about our topic. So what is really happening with the girls nowadays? To be honest with you i feel that its hard to know whether most girls is still virgin or not(SO SORRY TO SAY THIS). Different people have different point of views so i would like to share mine. Maybe this is due to:
1)Not having enough attention from their parents
2)Wrongly mix with bad companies and influenced by their activities(But i aslo mix with bad companies but i turn out well. Maybe because i have a very soft heart.Haha)
3)Thier mind are still in "mood to play"(it means that they only know how to enjoy their life and seacrh only for enjoyment and happiness. In short they like to happy-go-jolly. If you know what i mean)
4)They didn't have a strong religious background
5)So sorry to say this but maybe their vagina is too itchy adn thet are bitchy or sluts. So sorry again my friends
6)They're taken in by the sweet talking of guys(You know guys nowadays right? They are such a very sweet talking idiots. Dunno how many tons of sugar they put inside their mouth. Kalah makcik kaypoh yang keje pat itas.Hahahaha)
So you can see there are many possibilities in this case. Each and every reason really depends on the individuality herself. But what's the main reason for the cause of high underage pregnancy only they themselves know. But the thing that we can do now is to prevent it from increasing in years to come. How? I really don't have any idea. Guess I have to talk to my counsellor to get the answer.Hahaha....
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Based On A True Story:

I have a friend name X. We have been friends for about two years and i regard her as my own sister. She's actually once a "minah" in the past but she's gradually changing right now(Alhamdullilah,i'm very happy and proud for that. At least all my effort and lecture all this while gets to her big stone head.Hahaha) But one problem that she has is that she keeps changing her boyfriend like changing her clothes. And she will always do that thing with most guys. This is beacuse she could not find sincere love from most guys. You know guys nowadays right,like to play with girls feelings,but not me...
So recently she met with K. They've been a couple for 4 months if i'm not wrong. And recently she told me a news that really shook me and blow my head off. She's pregnant and i was the first person to know it!!!(imagine that). She told me what happen and decided to go for an abortion. I scold her off and told her to keep the child. And when this doesn't work, she ask me to give her a punch in the womb.WHAT THE FUCK?? YOU WANT ME TO BE GULTY ISIT? But i understand her situation. She was in a dilemma and so am i. K told her he wanted to keep the child, but K is now servng his NS and do not have a job. And please not to mention his attitude but he's really really nice towards me. So i was caught in between. What X say is totally true. If K was to be the child's father, what will happend to the child when he grew up. I really don't want the unborn child to be like me, with fatherless past.(Think and reflect now. Try to put yourself in that position). So now K is taking care of X and her unborn child. Its been a month now. Till now i have no idea on whether she should go for an abortion or keep the child. But one thing i know i can do is pray to Him and hope that everything goes well between both of them until the child is born. I really have to wish them the best and hope that unexpected things not to happen to them. I really hope because if not...........

Would you want an innocent child to be the scapegoat of your shameful acts??

2006-08-10T09:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday's national day celebration was totally bullshit(imagine seeing the fireworks in between of PACIFIC HOTEL AND RITZ CARLTON HOTEL). brrrrr.... but never mind at least i enjoy my day at suhail's father shop at penin....